Friday, November 09, 2007

Bleurgh

So.

There's this thing I've planned on applying to for months. I even reorganized my writing/editing schedule to accommodate the application process.

But.

Now I'm panicking. I don't want to apply anymore. Yet I promised myself I would, just in cases. But that's the thing about it: I'm not sure whether this application is a safety net or whether it is in fact a very well-veiled avoidance tactic. It is a writerly thing to be sure, but I'm not even certain if I want to do it. I don't want to break the promise to myself and have all that work be for nothing (especially the lovely help contributed by friends), but I don't want to apply either. Now I'm running out of time. The application is due at the end of the month. I have three small things to complete before I can send it in, but two of them are very scary (for me).

*Paces* What to do, what to do?

I must decide this weekend.

*sighs*

Sorry for not sharing more, but I don't want to disclose the exact details in public.

Words written today: 476 (pfft!)

4 comments:

hellojed said...

Arrghh! Those big crossroads are tricky. Follow your gut...it's my best decision-maker anyway!

Alix said...

I hate big decisions.
Hope you work it out, only advice I can give is make your decision and then don't feel guilty - easier said than done I know

Kristen said...

You have to do what's best for you--no guilt. Give me a call if you want to chat. No matter what, I'll support you 110%! :-)

Angie said...

Hellojed, good advice. My instincts are usually right, I just worry too much about decisions.

Alix, ugh, me too! I do need to just decide and then move on.

Kristen, we so owe you a phone call...ended up walking to Santana in the rain tonight. ;) Will probably ring you tomorrow, thanks! You know me, decisions are not my strong point.